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The Dark Side of Leading by Example

The Dark Side of Leading by Example

September 03, 20243 min read

You’ve probably heard the phrase “leading by example” more times than you can count. It’s one of those timeless pieces of advice that gets passed down from leader to leader, often with a knowing nod of approval. The idea is simple: if you want your team to embody certain behaviors or values, you must first model them yourself. But here’s the funny thing—whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re always leading by example.

Your team is constantly watching you, absorbing the way you handle challenges, make decisions, and interact with others. They’re interpreting these actions and using them to understand their environment, which in turn shapes the culture of your organization. Every move you make as a leader either reinforces or undermines the values you want to instill. And when fear—particularly the fear of being incompetent, also known as imposter syndrome—takes the wheel, the example you’re setting might not be the one you intend.

The Unseen Influence of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is more than just self-doubt; it’s a major killer of leadership confidence. When you’re constantly questioning your own competence, it’s hard to project the confidence that others need to see in a leader. And let’s be honest—if you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect your team to believe in you?

This lack of confidence doesn’t just sit quietly in the background; it actively disrupts your leadership. Leaders struggling with imposter syndrome often find themselves second-guessing every decision, which leads to delays in decision-making. This slowdown can bottleneck progress and frustrate your team, who are left waiting for direction. And then, in a frantic attempt to catch up, you might shift into overdrive, causing last-minute emergencies where everything suddenly needs to be done yesterday. This whiplash between slowdowns and sudden rushes not only stresses your team but also erodes trust and stability within the group.

When a leader is consumed by imposter syndrome, they may inadvertently send a message that it’s not okay to make mistakes or to admit when you don’t have all the answers. This can stifle innovation, as team members become more focused on not messing up than on taking the risks needed for growth. Over time, this fear-based environment can lead to dysfunction, with everyone playing it safe instead of striving for excellence.

Turning Fear into Growth

The good news is that acknowledging your imposter syndrome doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. And by confronting this fear head-on, you have the opportunity to turn it into a powerful example of growth and resilience for your team.

Here’s how:

  1. Be Honest About Your Journey: It’s okay to admit that you’re still growing into your role. By being transparent about your challenges, you show your team that it’s normal to feel uncertain at times, and that growth is a continuous process.

  2. Embrace Vulnerability: Instead of pretending you have all the answers, invite your team to collaborate on finding solutions. This not only eases the pressure on you but also empowers your team members to step up and contribute their ideas.

  3. Focus on Learning: Shift the narrative from needing to be perfect to being committed to learning. Encourage a culture where mistakes are seen as opportunities for growth, not failures.

  4. Lead by Example: Your team is watching how you handle your fears. By showing that it’s okay to be a work in progress, you give them permission to do the same. This creates a more open, supportive environment where everyone can thrive.

Setting the Right Example

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers or never feeling insecure. It’s about how you navigate those insecurities and what kind of example you set in the process. When you address your imposter syndrome openly and use it as a catalyst for growth, you not only improve your own leadership but also set a powerful example for your team.

Remember, the example you set as a leader goes far beyond your words. It’s reflected in your actions, your willingness to grow, and your ability to embrace vulnerability. By facing your fears and leading with authenticity, you can turn imposter syndrome from a hidden saboteur into a source of strength—for both you and your team.

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Jim Saliba

James is a 30+ year veteran in the Software and Technology industry. He shares with you his years of experience and winning ways to become a successful leader, while becoming 'unstuck' from the overwhelming challenges that hold us back from complete success.

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